Sometimes it’s easier to laugh!

I have been watching all of my friends post these adorable pictures of their newborns. I LOVE babies. Anyone who knows me knows this about me. I can’t help myself I have to hold them, cuddle them, feed them and as always I put them to sleep. 🙂 There are things that as a new parent you will learn and you will be embarrassed when it happens to you. For some odd reason I feel that I need to share this with the world and give a few of you some laughs for the day. SO here is goes;

1. Your beautiful little baby girl/boy will at some point in the first couple of months shoot feces all over the wall, carpet, etc. A week after my oldest was born my husband decided to give me a break and change her. Like all first time parents we made sure that we had that amazing changing table that you never use with your second baby. He placed her on the table and took off her dirty diaper and lifted her legs to wipe and she sneezed……the wall was COVERED!!! I was laughing so hard I couldn’t even help him. I felt so bad and yet I couldn’t stop…it’s ok he got me back a few months later.

2. Your child will find a way to spew vomit all over you and leave a cartoon outline of you on the wall as you drip upchuck. Yep this one also happened. I was holding my oldest when she was 4 months old and she had a horrible cold. We both ran to her bedroom as she was choking I picked her up and cleared her throat from all the drainage. I was horrified. She coughed then vomited more than I have ever see come out of someone other than the exorcist movie.  My husband being the ex-baseball player her was tried to catch it….After cleaning himself up I handed her to him and when I turned around there was an outline of me on the wall…..not an exaggeration at all. While he bathed her I bathed me. It was a long night needless to say.

3. The morning you wake up and you realize it is 8 and you didn’t have to get up one time….check on the baby before you celebrate. I woke up one morning celebrating because it was 8 and I actually got to sleep in. I casually go into the bathroom and get dressed and ready for the day because I can’t hear my daughter crying so I am good…..or so I thought. I walked into her room and she was filthy! She had pooped and figured out how to take her diaper off. It was in her hair, all over her bed and she had painted a mural on the wall. From then on if it was quiet I didn’t trust it!

4. There is nothing more that brings a smile to a parents face than holding up their baby about their face and cooing at them…..this is only a smart choice if you have not fed them lately! If you have you run the risk of getting spit up in your mouth. This is one that every parent has done and had done to them, and yet nobody shares this knowledge. It is a rough day when you get spit up formula in your mouth just saying.

5. with my second daughter dinner was not over until she choked on her food. It was like a life saving class every night. It didn’t matter how small the food was how slow she ate no matter what at least one time during dinner she would choke on her food. What did we do, calmly got up cleared her throat and got on with life. There are so many parents that are scared to start feeding heir babies food because they are scared they will choke. This is part of life if you don’t start feeding them solids you are holding them back because of your fears. They have to learn how to eat!

6. If you have an emotional child…..hang in there it does get better. It takes awhile but it gets better with time, understanding and more time. My daughter is smart and because of it things came very easy to her. Unfortunately because of this when we had challenges she would break down and cry. There was no fit throwing or screaming she would just shut down and cry. We had to teach her how to try at things and not get upset when it didn’t work the first time.

There is nothing more fun than raising my two girls, I have been sleep deprived for 8 years, fed up at times, laughing till it hurts, sad for them, heart broken, in love with them…etc. I would not change a thing about the last 8 1/2 years. They are my joy, my fun and my frustration but when you are raising little people it is going to be hard. Many props go out to all the mothers that also work outside of the house and manage their household at the same time. Many props to the stay at home moms like me also who do it everyday for their family. And finally many props to the dads who come home to crying babies, wives and a house that looks like a bomb went off because at some point during that day the moms gave up on cleaning (AGAIN). Enjoy your children they will be out of the house before you know it. In a blink of an eye my girls went from babies to 6 and 8. Laugh at the small things and enjoy them.

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