I have been seeing a lot of people who have been upset for their spouse due to rude comments about stay at home mom’s. I just happen to be one. It’s funny because when someone says ” What do you do”, “Where do you work”, there is always a pause where I look down and say “Oh I am a stay at home mom”. Most of the time people act very nicely about it I’m not going to lie however there is the occasional person who is rude. For a while we lived in Germany and I would get so angry because I consider myself a person who can contribute to a conversation and as soon as they realize that I am a stay at home mom they would literally walk away from me! They just walked away like I couldn’t rub two words together to save my life due to the lack of stimulating work life. I mean what did I have to talk about right, what have I ever done other than change diapers, and feed an infant. It was like they expected me to stop talking about our super important conversation and begin to talk about my daughters first bowel movement.
The last thing I read about this subject, was a man writing about his wife and people who he had run into. He said someone told him that it must be fun to be able to stay at home. This offended him because the person just happen to tell him in a coffee shop while they were both clearly on a break from work to which he responded ” I am sure my wife would love a coffee break in the middle of the day” . Would you like to know the truth? Our day is amazing, busy, slow, tiring, confusing and joyful all rolled up into one and we love nap time you know IF the kids actually sleep during that time. There are so many emotions that can go through you in such a short time it is amazing. You can go from “your the best mommy in the world’ to a temper tantrum in 5 seconds flat and not even know why. Not to mention we also have to run all the errands and find time to feed everyone. I’m not trying to say it is the hardest job in the world I simply just want to point out that we by no means have time to sit on our asses and eat bon bon’s like people like to envision…..Not that I wouldn’t like to.
I have also hit another level of stay at home mom at this point. My kids went to school….I have a first and third grader. So Why don’t I go to work? Here are my answers,
Someone is always sick- I can’t call in once a week because someone is sick how happy would that employer be lets be honest.
I enjoy cooking- I like having stuff ready for my family to eat when everyone gets home and at a decent time. Seven at night is too late to feed little ones. I also make everything from scratch so if we are having hamburgers I am making the buns, pulling stuff from the garden to put on it and so forth.
Amazingly there is no maid- When I did have a job no maid ever showed up to get everything done during the day. I have things to do and when I worked those things suffered. Plus I didn’t make any money because all of my paycheck minus 400 went to pre-school costs and calling into work because of a sick child.
Do I feel like I need to validate my stay at home mom position…everyday! Oh and If I say that I am tired you should see the looks I get from everyone. How in the hell can you be tired if you have done nothing all day. I also watch two babies twice or three times a week. This is in order to bring a little extra cash into the pot each month. However, I still find myself saying I am a stay at home mom and not….oh I watch two little ones. It’s pointless then I would have to explain why I don’t want to open a business with more kids. Sorry its not that I don’t have drive and want to make more money, it’s the fact that I like these two babies…and they don’t tare up my house! If you think that all of these things are trivial take into consideration that at least once a week I am up at one or both schools volunteering and this season I am also a Soccer coach. I don’t get paid for what I do in money but my kids are happy and that’s what I am aiming for. I don’t do much to bring money in but I am a saver and I do a lot to save the money that does come in. I am a mommy, an accountant, soccer coach, shoulder to cry on, hair dresser, reading teacher, math teacher, cook, and nurse. No I don’t carry any degree’s for this position but to tell you the truth the only degree I have which is in Business Management is the only one I don’t use.